Book vs real life: 32 weeks pregnant

January 5, 2017

 

32 weeks pregnant mothership dubai

 

I’ve hit a wall of exhaustion. And am the size of a house/back of a bus/woman who’s 32 weeks pregnant and wasn’t petite to begin with. I actually don’t FEEL that big, then get a shock when I see myself in profile, or in a photo.

 

32 weeks pregnant mothership dubai

 

Gulp.

 

Helpfully (ahem) my husband has said I’m “not as big as last time”, which I think is supposed to be a compliment. He also says “waddle on” when we’re walking. So you can imagine I’m feeling really desirable right now…

 

The big news this week is that we went for a scan, and the baby is big. “Very big baby” in the words of the doctor, who measured her head (eg skull eg BONE) and chuckled.

 

The words “very big baby” are now echoing around my brain. He also said that she’d be fine if she was born now, and is approximately 2.6kg. Phoebe was born (on her due date) at 3kg. My poor pelvic floor.

 

Last night I was awake from 3am to 4am googling/panicking. My husband sleepily asked if I was okay, then said “Don’t worry, your body won’t make something that you can’t eject”. Eject.

 

So what does The Bump say about this stage? And does this terrified, bloated and wide-eyed woman agree?

 

The book says…

We’d tell you to take a deep breath and relax, but it’s probably tough to do either of those at 32 weeks pregnant. It’s probably tough to be comfortable at all, since you might be feeling overheated on top of your other symptoms, too. But you’re probably getting super excited to meet baby, and we can’t blame you.

 

I say…

Relax? Relax?! With Big Bertha sitting snugly in my uterus getting chubbier by the day?! To be honest, I’d be more excited to meet her if she wasn’t in the 90th percentile for her weight…

 

The book says…

This is a good time to start packing your hospital bag. You might also want to read up on postpartum care and stock your medicine cabinet with some essential new mom care supplies.

 

I say…

Her head is down, but she’s not ready yet, so I think I’ll wait a bit longer. Postpartum care = tea and toast, right? I still need to buy some maternity PJ bottoms that aren’t two years old and over-stretched, so any tips on where to find some would be awesome.

 

The book says…

Baby is as big as a head of celery. He or she weighs about 4.2 pounds and measures about 17.2 inches—and may grow up to a full inch this week. Amazing!

 

I say…

NO SHE BLOODY ISN’T!!!! Add 1.5kg to that, please. As for the celery comparison, my app says she’s more like a ferret or cauliflower, this week. That’s a giant ferret, or one of the prize-winning caulis that you see in photos with ruddy faced gardeners at village fetes.

 

The book says…

Symptoms in one word? Discomfort! Here’s what you’re probably feeling this week.

  • You’re one hot mama-to-be because your metabolic rate is through the roof.
  • Hormone fluctuations can cause headaches. So can stress or dehydration, so try to take it easy and drink plenty of water. A few extra trips to the ladies’ room is worth the sacrifice.
  • Shortness of breath. By now, you may be used to not being able to fully catch your breath. Imagine what a relief it will be when baby “drops” and frees up some space around your lungs. For different moms-to-be, this happens at different times, but chances are, it could be very soon.
  • Forgetfulness and clumsiness. This is the unproven phenomenon also known as “baby brain.” Your flightiness may be less due to your physiological changes and more due to the stress and anxiety of expecting a baby in less than two months.

 

I say…

Bang on, apart from the headaches. Hot flushes are mental. I dropped a bowl the other day then cried. You get the (ugly) picture.

 

The book says…

By 32 weeks pregnant, you may have gained around 22 to 28 pounds total—32 to 42 pounds if you’re 32 weeks pregnant with twins. For some moms-to-be, having some extra curves makes them feel sexy. Know that as long as your doctor has said sex is okay during your pregnancy, you can continue to enjoy it right up until delivery day.

 

I say…

I’ve gained about 10kg this time (as opposed to 23kg by the time Phoebe was born) and a big chunk of that is apparently the chubby one, so that’s not toooo bad. As for the ‘extra curves’ making me feel sexy? Who are these women? Can I be one please? Waddle waddle waddle…

 

 

The book says…

If you feel your belly tightening occasionally, you’re probably having Braxton Hicks contractions. Here’s how you know: Braxton Hicks aren’t painful and often happen after sex or exercise. They’re different from regular contractions because they stop when you switch positions.

 

I say…

This baby is beating me up from the inside. No Braxton Hicks as yet, though, but there’s still time, and she’s positioned in such a way that my poor bladder hurts. I didn’t know that was possible. At the cinema I drank a medium Diet Pepsi and was practically doubled over in agony. La La Land was great though – highly recommended pregnancy viewing.

 

In conclusion…

 

So I’m having a giant child. Look at those cheeks.

Did your doctor tell you that you’d be ejecting a MegaBub? Were they right? All (positive) stories gladly received…

 

You might also enjoy… Your free downloadable family wall planner for 2017.


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