The great push present debateOctober 24, 2015
When my mum gave birth to me (after nine reportedly awful months of pregnancy then 24 hours of hell) my dad gave her a Phil Collins cassette. I don’t think this went down terribly well. The concept of a push present 30-odd years ago was unheard of, however, so I think he did okay.
Fast forward a few decades, and the push present is now a ‘thing’, especially in the UAE where we are quick to adopt anything a) American and b) potentially shiny. Friends in the UK are a bit baffled by whole idea, while for many women here it’s a given – even if that’s news to their husbands.
Traditionally, an eternity ring is the go-to gift for its symbolism (and the multiple diamonds don’t hurt), but really anything goes – as my dad demonstrated. Art, jewellery, a newborn photoshoot, flowers every week for a year… Basically, chaps, if your wife has been dropping hints, this might be the time to pick them up. If you agree with push presents, that is.
In the name of fairness, I’m weighing up the pros and cons of the push present…
It’s a little graphic, no? I can’t help but picture whatever piece of jewellery, handbag or (ouch) car being birthed by the lucky recipient.
Is it something you choose together? When is it given – in the hospital or at a later date? When is it too late? Do you get a gift of lesser value if you have a relatively easy birth? Can you still buy cassette tapes? So many questions. No wonder many men are a bit baffled by it all.
Ah, keeping up with the Joneses. You might have been perfectly happy with Phil’s latest musical offering until you saw what’s-her-face’s Tiffany eternity band. But don’t forget that her husband might be a total berk who throws money at every problem, while your fella may have chosen your gift with lots of love and good intentions.
An oft-heard argument is ‘I think of my baby whenever I see my watch/ring/Phil Collins cassette’. You shouldn’t need a trinket to think of your kid, you clown.
Buy what you can afford. Babies ain’t cheap, and those diamond earrings may have to be flogged for school fees in a few years. Something sentimental (men – chicks dig engraved stuff) will often do the job more than nicely.
I was lucky enough to have a pretty easy birth (*ducks to avoid things being thrown at me*) and my husband joked – I think he was joking – about “downgrading the push present because it wasn’t that bad”, and I wouldn’t have blamed him. As it happens, he treated me to a lovely watch and I plan to pass it onto Phoebe. At some point. Maybe. I’m thinking of it as my very first Mother’s Day gift.
It’s nice to have nine months of gaining weight, covering your wine glass with your hand in that insufferable way and gaining more weight before going through the indignity of birth, maternity pads and breast-feeding recognised. Of course, the baby should be ‘enough’ but don’t turn down a present, it’s just rude. Don’t, however, EXPECT a present. That’s the difference.
The rest of the world seems to think it’s ridiculous, buying something spenny when you’ve just taken delivery of a tiny money vacuum is ridiculous, the name is ridiculous and women who witter on about what they receive can be ridiculous. Does this mean that push presents are ridiculous? Well, would I have to give my watch back if I said yes…? I just think it’s always nice to get a present that someone wants to give you, and if he can sing You Can’t Hurry Love then that’s pretty cool too.
What do you think about push presents? And can we come up with a better name please?