The two words I needed to hear
June 5, 2017
I’m finding that having kids not only opens your heart to loving someone unconditionally – to even in the hardest, most frustrating moment knowing that you’d do anything for that little person – but to being loved unconditionally too.
Toddlers don’t think logically, they throw themselves into everything, from running bare bottomed around the house, giggling at how they are going “SO FAST mama!” to mugging you with a hug, wrapping their arms around your head and squeezing tight.
A few days ago I hung some glittery stars from shelves in Phoebe’s room, and she has spent a lot of time admiring them, watching them as they sparkle in the sunshine, and gazing at their shadows at bedtime.
Last night we were lying on her bed, light from the streetlamp outside illuminating a slice of her room. She looked up and said “Beautiful stars” and I held her hand and agreed. She then turned to me in the dark, and took my face between her little hands and simply proclaimed “Beautiful mummy”.
She didn’t mean it as a compliment. She doesn’t know how to do that yet, or how to use words for her own gain – to flatter, to manipulate, to charm. She didn’t say it to make me happy, because she didn’t know that it would. Or that those two words were all I needed to hear, even if I didn’t realise it until she said them.
She didn’t know that I can’t remember the last time I was told I was beautiful by someone without agenda or duty. Most mums can’t.
And I lay there, still in my soggy swimsuit, mascara smudged under my eyes, and felt loved. And a bit beautiful.
Leave a Reply