Welcome to the mothership

August 9, 2015

Necessity is the mother of invention, and Dubai is in need of a voice that tells mums that it’s ok if you’re:

  • Not wearing a bikini, heels and jewellery at a beach club a fortnight after giving birth (I’m still enthusiastically enjoying maternity leggings and the sprog is 6 months old).
  • Back at work and (whisper it) bloody loving it.
  • Unsure when or how you should wean/potty train/apply for schools. I haven’t read a single book apart from Baby Secrets since giving birth. If you haven’t read Baby Secrets, I can’t recommend it enough. Get it from Amazon here.
  • Not signed up to Baby Sensory, Baby Swimming, Baby Massage, Baby Gymnastics, Mummy & Me coffee mornings, breastfeeding clinics, baby-led weaning workshops, baby wearing sessions etc etc etc until you’ve spent the rent on ‘education’ before the child is 2 months old.

In short, this blog is for you if you’re a busy, active mum who can’t stand small talk, crap information and twee mummy blogs who make out that mothering is all unicorns, candy floss and rose petals, instead of admitting that you can love your child so much it terrifies you, while still wanting a night in alone watching The Great British Bake Off with a double G&T or night out pretending you don’t have children.

Being a mum can be amazing, but it’s also a pain in your (newly expanded) backside sometimes.

12 responses to “Welcome to the mothership”

  1. Dave says:

    Applied for school before the lad was one year old. And before the school was even built. (Jebel Ali Primary).

    On the plus side, that head teacher will have plenty of time to forget we were the parents who turned up late, sweating and was no smart questions to ask.

    • Helen Farmer says:

      Haha. I applied for JESS when ours was 3 WEEKS OLD. We could barely remember her name when we handed over Dhs500.

      I don’t reckon we have a hope, but you’ve got to be in it to win it. And I’m planning on bribery anyway.

  2. Layla says:

    Blimey I’m late….help, my boy is going on 4 months, should I be applying now? Is this primary school or nursery, totally drowning in all this new baby stuff

    • Helen Farmer says:

      It TOTALLY depends on the school/nursery that you’re interested in – some don’t accept applications until a year before they’re due to start. This is the civilised approach. Others open four years in advance. http://www.souqalmal.com/ae-en/education is really good for data on fees, applications etc. Don’t panic!

  3. Geordie Armani says:

    Welcome to the world of blogging, if children don’t consume all your time then this will! good luck 🙂

  4. Helen, I’m so excited to see you blogging! I’ll be a regular around here for sure. Best of luck xx

  5. Lyndal says:

    Helen this is going to be a breath of fresh air !! Good luck, i look forward to your blogs.. good luck with it all 🙂

  6. Krissy J says:

    Loving the new blog Helen!

  7. Alexia Williams says:

    Oh Helen I’m so thrilled you have thrown your hat into the mummy blogging ring. How exciting and looking forward to your refreshing and down to earth take on it all! I would have loved to have done something myself but I always seem to have a remote/doughnut/child/knife in either hand so it restricted my typing speed. X

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