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Book vs real life: 30 weeks pregnant

December 21, 2016

 

It’s 6.15am, and I’m sitting in the living room, the Christmas tree lights on, carols playing via YouTube and the call to prayer just audible. I’m contemplating a slice of Christmas cake because toast feels like too much hassle.

 

I’m also thinking about having a bit of a cry, because, well, I don’t know. Even though my parents and cousin flew into town last week, there’s something about not being in chilly England, with ‘old’ friends, and nights in the pub, and wearing layers, and singing by candlelight in church with wax dripping down my jeans, that is making me feel homesick and sad. Plus, pregnancy hormones.

 

Christmas in Dubai is a difficult one. The weather is amazing, with crisp air and sunny skies, but everything festive feels born of out keeping the masses happy (and spending), rather than tradition and goodwill. A few months after I started dating the man who would become my husband, December 25th was looming and he witnessed the first of many meltdowns that would baffle him. “I’m just not feeling Christmassy!” I sobbed as he nervously watched on, unsure how to make this better. I fear he may need to talk me off the ledge at some point in the next few days…

 

Because my parents made Christmas so magical for us growing up, with dad sticking his boots up the chimney to make sooty footprints, amazing food, and thoughtful touches at every turn, the bar was set high. And now I find myself in this weird limbo; I’m still their child, who wants someone else to make it all magical (spoilt brat) and also a mum who is hosting Christmas, with her own children, and responsibilities.

 

So over the next few days I’m determined to inject some cheer by decorating a gingerbread house, taking Phoebe to see Santa and watching some festive films – although a vat of mulled wine would speed things up. Be warned Christmas 2017: I’m getting drunk.

 

Anyway, enough Grinch chat. Shit is getting real, at the 30-week mark. So what does The Bump say about this milestone? And what’s *really* going on with this Santa-sized belly?

 

The book says…

Baby’s skin is getting smoother. But baby’s brain is getting wrinklier to make way for all that essential brain tissue. Baby’s now strong enough to grasp a finger!

 

I say…

Smooth skin for a baby is A Good Thing, and the basis of countless advertising campaigns, so hurrah for that. Let’s just hope she’s not getting too hairy in there, because Phoebe was born and instantly nicknamed The Monkey Princess.

 

 

The book says…

Your 15.2- to 16.7-inch, 2.5- to 3.8-pound baby continues to grow. At 30 weeks, your belly’s doing more than just making it tough to find a comfortable sleeping position. It’s made itself a conversation piece. Everywhere you go, someone seems to have a comment about your physical appearance, which isn’t always so fun. And no doubt, you’ve encountered quite a few people who don’t think before they speak and say something embarrassing or hurtful (what’s up with that?)

 

I say…

I’m trying to get a comment in first, usually “I’m bloody massive”, which is true. I wrote an article for Baby & Child magazine this month about how mums hurt each other with comments (some accidental, some intentional) and urge you to read it to find out how to protect yourself from careless words, as well as try to understand what’s often behind the constant comparisons. You can find it here.

 

 

The book says…

Take advantage of some of the perks (when someone offers you their seat on the train—take it!).

 

I say…

You don’t need to tell me twice. I, umm, inserted myself at the front of the IKEA delivery queue on Friday, mid-hot flush, and the man was lovely – gave me water and sorted everything in record time so I could have a much-needed sit down. The only place a bump isn’t useful is a crowded bar. Trust me, I’ve tried.

 

 

The book says…

At week 30, your dreams might be getting even weirder— if you’re actually sleeping, that is. That could be a result of anxiety, so consider doing some prep work to help you rest easier. One idea? Do a test drive to see exactly how long it really takes you to get to the hospital. Then maybe you’ll stop having nightmares about giving birth in your car.

 

I say…

The anxiety is strong with this one. I’ve been awake since 4am, woken by a mouse-quiet ‘mama’ over the monitor, then lying in bed just… thinking. I am, however, getting a special delivery soon that might help (intrigued? You should be). Until then, I have The Miniaturist on my Kindle, and it never failed to make me sleep when I started reading it a few months ago.

 

 

The book says…

Heartburn, which might be making sleep hard to come by. Swelling—it’s totally normal, as long as it’s not sudden or severe. General discomfort, thanks to your big belly. Shortness of breath. Those lungs just keep getting more crowded, right? Trouble sleeping, which leads to another issue: Fatigue. Weird, vivid dreams. One word (a familiar one): Hormones.

 

I say…

Cheers. That’s all rosy, isn’t it? I’m actually not feeling too bad, aside from the pre-Christmas blues, a weird fuzzy leg when standing too much, aches in my abdomen when walking too far, hot flushes, and the need to wee immediately after having a wee. Oh, that’s rather a lot.

 

 

In conclusion…

Phoebe has just woken up, and has temporarily cured the blues. The cake helped too.

 

Are you in the third trimester too? How are you feeling?

 

You might also like… Dos and don’ts when your wife is pregnant: a survival guide

 

 


One response to “Book vs real life: 30 weeks pregnant”

  1. Barney says:

    The third trimester is definitely harder than the second. So far, not as bad as the first (that was horrific). I get woken a lot by the dreams, too. I really feel like I’m actually in them somehow. I find drinking helps.

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